Race day stuff

Bob -

One of the most exciting things in life is the pre-race jitters I get and the excitement surrounding a race.  Music, registration tables, people milling about.  Watching people warm up, hoping I will make it through the race without dying, wondering how many people are in my age group, wondering why I signed up, asking myself why I even run, trying to pin my bib on, re-putting on my bib, hoping I have shorts on under my sweats, etc.  Just a lot of stuff going on and I actually love it all.  The worst part of it is walking by the porta potties. The most horrific and disgusting smells ever.  All these fairly attractive and fit people standing and waiting to unleash the pre-race evils in the hope that they won't become the during race evils.  It is like walking by a mass grave of pork fed cows.  It is like walking by the bathroom after your grandfather was in there, except there are 500 grandfathers.  It is like a mushroom cloud of atomic stress farts.  If you don't listen to any advice I ever have, please listen to this...go to the bathroom at home!  Clear it out.  Don't go near the porta potties.  There is no way that the odor doesn't not effect your run.  It coats your lungs.  It takes about a half mile to clear out.  I have a theory and it is this.  You will cut about 2 minutes off your 5k pr by avoiding the porta potties.  I feel this is important.  So important that I am willing to give up my sponsorship with Captain Crap's Portable Poop Decks, unless of course they start paying me and then I will do another study.  But that is a story for another day.