The Song of Gilligan

It is exactly three weeks from the half marathon.  Three weeks.  This will be the fifth time I have done this particular one.  I remember when I did it the first time.  I said it will be my last one...ever.  So, five of these and a couple of other ones later and I'm still at it.  I keep saying that I'm not going to anything with the word thon in it again.  But, I keep signing up.  As the pain goes away from my last marathon, I am even considering doing another one of those.  I kind of feel like the last one beat me.  I'm trying to decide if I can live with that.  My biggest realization in the last few weeks is that I am pretty much full of shit.  I don't mean to be.  I fully intend to concentrate on shorter races, like 5k's, but then something happens and I get the urge to do something else.  I've done three Tough Mudders.  I thought the first one would be my last.  The second one definitely was my last.  Until the third one.  The third is probably my last.  The cost is getting prohibitive.  That is my main reason.  The cost is crazy high.  I have also gotten to the point where I don't just sign up for lots of stuff anymore.  The costs of numerous races is just a lot of money.  I'm trying to pick and choose the ones I really want to do and the ones that are for a good cause.  I would like to do something Tough Mudderish, because I like to climb over stuff and I like mud.  I like the upper body challenge.  Blah, blah...blah.  This is really boring.  I am boring myself to tears writing this.  Do I stop?  Have I gone too far to delete?  It is sort of like an out and back run.  Once you go too far, you have too far to go back.  All the sudden you are running a crap ton of miles, or in this case, writing a crap ton of words.  I'm like the Gilligan of blog post.  Go out for what you think is a three hour tour and then I'm stuck on a island for years.  This post is my island.

Let's regroup here.  Due to the fact that this is a running blog, I'm going to say something about running.  Today, while running through the woods with my friends, I made the statement that I could run forever if my legs didn't get tired.  They laughed, because the legs always get tired, but what if they were so well conditioned that they didn't?  At least for a long time.  When I was coming off my plantar's issue a few years back, I experienced a moment of zen.  I had such a bad case, that I could not do regular runs for months.  That is when I started doing the step workout, switched to training in Vibram's, running in Kinvaras and fully embraced the minimalist thing.  Taught myself to run on my forefoot again, like I did when I was a sprinter in high school and college.  Got my stride back, and stopped being a plodder.  Anyway, I strengthened my feet and my calves by doing lots of step work.  Also, did lots of kettlebell work.  When I started running again on the road and the trails, I made sure that I did a quality run.  Quantity did not matter at the time.  I just wanted to run and finish strong and with a positive attitude.  If that was two miles or three miles, it was fine...as long as I finished strong.  The kettlebells and the steps worked my legs in a way that was just incredible.  Flash foreward to my first 5k after my comeback and my legs never died.  They felt strong the whole way.  I was actually surprised to see the finish line.  It was awesome.

Knowing that my long runs have not been real good leading up to this half, I have been beating my legs up in other ways.  They are sore and tired.  I am hoping to pull all this together in the next few weeks and have a decent performance in the half.  In a way, this is like my first one again.  I just do not know what to expect.  I know I can finish.  I know that I can do okay, but I'm just not sure what okay means. Last year I knew that I could do a sub 1:50 if I was on my game.  This year, I'm not sure.  I'm getting excited to find out.  Then on to bigger and other things.

I believe this is one of the reasons I still love running.  I'm still surprised and amazed to see what my body will do on any given day.  I have to stop writing now and find a way off this island.

Choices

This was a pretty good week of running.  I did 13 miles on Sunday.  That is the most since the marathon in October.  It seems like it has taken me a long time to get back to this distance.  Both physically and mentally.  The physical thing started with the knee issue.  That got better, but I couldn't seem to push it.  Couldn't get past certain mileage.  For a while, I thought I may have lost my love and desire for running.  It seemed to coincide with my loss of feelings for my business.  I love to build.  I've spent years teaching myself the trade and the ins and outs of the business.  I made many mistakes.  My business plan was to make cabinets and sell them.  Pretty simple, really.  I jumped in and made lots of cabinets.  I loved it and I grew.  I got lots of jobs.  Too many jobs.  Knee deep in cabinets all the time.  I got behind.  I had some horrible customers.  I had some employees that milked me dry.  I was not the best manager.  When I say that, I need to make it clear that I would love to work for someone like me.  Someone who is passionate about what they do, and really only cared that the end product was good.  I am a person who hates being told what to do.  I'm quiet about it, but I hate being told what to do.  Probably makes me not such a great employee.  But my work ethic is strong.  I will work like a mule.  When the economy started to tank, I still had lots of jobs, but not lots of money.  I told myself this is not why I got into the business.  I did not want to be a manager who told people what to do and watched.  I'm hands on.  I want to be involved in the designing, the building, the installation, etc.  I started the business with a cavernous workspace.  Hardly any electricity, no showroom, no office.  On my first appointment, I had a brochure of door styles and a piece of paper to take notes.  I got the job.  I started framing out a showroom and office and making displays.  I worked all the time.  It was exciting.  Every time the phone rang it meant opportunity.  Over time, I became a slave to the business.  Payroll every week.  Overhead expenses.  I would dread when the phone rang.  I wanted to throw my cell phone in the river.  I finally had enough.  I wanted to downsize.  I wanted to be just me again.  But how to finish all these jobs with no employees?  Work all the time is how.  I had to deal with the fact that I was going to be behind, but the product would be nice.  I had some angry customers, but all the jobs got done.  I am proud of all of them.  The jobs, that is.  I got stiffed royally a few times.  Not getting paid at a time that I was already a bit sour on things really added to the fun.  But, I knew it would all be over as long as I stuck to my plan of not taking a job just for the money and not getting dependent on an employee or any other help.  This process took about two long years.  I finally cleared the slate around December of last year...2012.  I took a part time job.  Not because I didn't have work, but to see what it was like to do something else.  A couple days a week.  I like the job.  It is easy.  Just go to work, do my thing and go home.  Rinse and repeat.  It was a bit hard to balance that with the business at first, but I started to get used to it.  I thought maybe I should just get out of the business entirely.

My running during the last few years sort of became my sanity.  I would run when I could fit it in.  I'd save my Saturday mornings for the running group.  I would almost always work after the run, but I wouldn't schedule anything until I had run.  I remember having an appointment after a 13 mile run a few years ago and I could barely stand up.  I am in much better shape now, but then 13 miles was monumental.  I had to ask them if it was okay if I leaned on their table.  I explained that I was training for a half.  I would laugh sometimes at what I thought was going on in people's minds.  Here's this cabinet guy who could barely walk and he's saying he is going to do a half marathon.  He has to be full of crap.  Anyway...my worst days in the business sort of coincided with my best days of running.  2012 had me dreading work yet I was pr'ing in every race I entered.  The year ended with the marathon in October, running wise.  Business wise, it was December.

I still don't blame my knee issue on running.  My knees have gotten much stronger since I have been running more in the last few years.  I blame my job for my knee issues.  Kneeling, carrying...whatever. But, my knee was hurting for a long time.  Did the marathon hurt it?  Did the job hurt it?  Both. probably, but for the first time, I could not do both.  I needed to take a break from running.  Because of the business.  If I can't walk, I can't make money.  Two things that I loved to do were hurting me.  One financially and physically and the other physically.  I considered quitting both.

My part time job offered me a full time position this week.  I had a few days to think about it.  My running, to me anyway, pretty much was not going well.  I was thinking why bother anymore.  I can lift weights, and do other things.  Then, this week happened.  13 miles and it felt good.  Sprint work a few days later and that felt really good.  5 miles and dinner with some great friends on Wednesday, and today another 6 with more great people.  After my run today, I installed a bathroom vanity that I custom made.  My customer told me what nice work I do.  I called the part time people and told them that I was going to stay part time.  I've decided to stick with the business and the running.  I have way too much invested in both to quit.

I've been reading a book by Og Mandino.  The Greatest Salesman in the World is its name.  I haven't read a motivational book since my days in the mortgage business, but I thought I could use it.  Here is a quote that I like from it.

"I will live this day as if it is my last.  And what shall I do with this last precious day which remains in my keeping?  First, I will seal up its container of life so that not one drop spills itself upon the sand.  I will waste not a moment mourning yesterday's misfortunes, yesterday's defeats, yesterday's aches of the heart, for why should I throw good after bad?

Can sand flow upward in the hour glass?  Will the sun rise where it sets and set where it rises?  Can I relive the errors of yesterday and right them? Can I call back yesterday's wounds and make them whole?  Can I become younger than yesterday?  Can I take back the evil that was spoken, the blows that were struck, the pain that was caused?  No.  Yesterday is buried forever and I will think of it no more.

I will live this day as if it is my last."

Now, I've got to get some sleep.  I have to run in the morning and I have lots of shit to build.

Cross Training for Running

Ed -

So I've had a lazy week running-wise.  Did that 7 mile "fast" run at 7:36 pace then followed up the next day with 3 miles easy (8:30 pace), but I didn't do the long hills I planned for Thursday morning.  I was still sleeping in after a two plus hour drive back from Northern Virginia and a visit with several high school friends.  We had a great dinner and all, but if you ever driven down 95 from DC towards Richmond, you know what went on.

Accidents and construction.  Didn't get home till after midnight so I bagged the run.

I made it to kettle bell class this morning, though, just fine.  And you know what I learned?  I don't have a core.

I have decent looking abs, don't get me wrong.  Not that it's a ripped 6 pack, but you can see the ripples and it's nice and firm.  However, when we did the kettle bell toe touch thing where you lie on your back, raise your legs to 45 degrees, extend your kettle bell with two hands above your face, then lift your shoulders up off the floor and reach for your toes with the kettle bell I simply didn't move.

No movement.  Lots of grunting, but no movement.

I wiggled all over the place and my legs swung up and all around, but the only part of my upper body that would move was my chin.  I'm sure Bob would have a really nice visual right here like "I looked like a catfish flopping on the bottom of a skiff while a troop of cub scouts cheered and farted," but I'm not sure what he'd come up with.  Ross the extremely fit trainer shouted all sorts of encouraging stuff, but my abs weren't going to pull my shoulders anywhere.

We switched to a leg lift exercise and that went better, then right into a bicycle type maneuver where I actually got my shoulders up some.  Then we rested 30 seconds to do it again.

The second set actually was a little better than the first and I think its because I had myself balanced a little better, but after about four good squeezes and some definite, although limited, motion from my upper body; my abs were seriously burning.

The third set was just ugly all the way around.

Ross said we all did great, but I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes at me and I had this flashing image of him in a blue shirt with brightly colored patches and a yellow bandanna tied around his neck.  Still he talked to me a little and said we'd continue to work on core stuff after all of the other swinging, punching and squatting we were doing with the kettle bells.

"You're gonna get strong," he said.

No doubt in my mind.

Have to get a long run in sometime this weekend and keep on schedule for the fall races!