Relay For Life and One More Birthday

What a great birthday week for me.

Spent the weekend of my 50th birthday down in Manteo with just about my whole family and a bunch of friends.  I also got to spend a good bit of time on Saturday and then again Sunday morning helping out at Dare County's Relay For Life event.  And what an incredible event it is.  It's kind of surprising how much positive feeling can be generated by hearing about, and seeing, such terrible life experiences.  But that's exactly what happens.

It seems to me that we tend to find the greatest strength and hope in the face of adversity.  Of course it's easier to push back against the weight of the world when there are others facing something so similar to yourself.  The whole "strength in numbers" thing.  And events like this leave me feeling humbled and empowered at the same time.

I remember the first one I attended here.

I had just finished up my radiation treatments, gotten over "the plague", and had worked my way up to walking three miles in a row.  I'd also gained back about 20 of the 40 some pounds I had lost.  I was driving in between contracting jobs and heard an ad for Relay on the radio.  "That's perfect!" I said out loud to myself and jotted down the website address so I could sign up when I got home which is exactly what I did.  I didn't join a team, or create one, or anything.  I just signed up.

Because somehow I thought it was a 5K.  And I could walk a 5K and maybe even jog some!

The next Saturday I heard another ad and heard the words "24 hours."  WTH?  Seriously?  Who the hell does any running or walking for 24 hours?  That's when I decided to actually read the website.

"Oh," I thought.  "I'm going to need a team."

So Sunday morning I stood up in church during the prayers and concerns, admitted to everyone that I was an idiot and needed help forming a team and raising money.  A dozen or so people joined up just about immediately.  It was great.

One of those folks was my Cancer Compadre, Shane.  He and I co-captained the team and did a pretty decent job of fundraising bringing in almost $ 1500.  We also had a good time camping out together that night and talking about ways to do a better job the following year, now that we understood what the hell it was we were supposed to do.  Shane and I walked a lot, too.  Hours and hours together and taking turns.  I don't know what got into me, but I started walking at the noon kickoff and just didn't stop.

While Shane and I talked about things I had mentioned that I wanted to get back to running because the past six months had given me all I ever wanted of feeling helpless and weak.  I talked about what I used to do in high school and Shane even said that he could never really be a runner because his knees always hurt and he just knew he'd hate it.  Well, as we walked a thought sort of got in my head and I wanted to see what would happen if . . . I just didn't stop walking.  How far could I go beyond the three miles I had done a few times that past week?

Turns out that was 105 laps around the track.  26 and a quarter miles.  A marathon.

I was so exhausted and limping, but I made myself do it.  Then was in agony for the next several days, but hey.  I walked a marathon.  Having done that I decided it was time to train and do something even better.  That's another story, but six months later I ran my first and only marathon. 

One year and one day after being diagnosed with cancer.  3:48 and change.

Shane started running after that day, too.  He said he was inspired by me and my efforts and since then the guy has just blown me and himself away.  He's done marathons, Half's, ultras, and even a 200 mile relay!  Had an article written about him in Endurance Magazine.  Totally cool.  He also created the Cupcake 5K as the team's fundraising tool for each year's Relay For Life.  Now it's also become the "big finish" for the weekend.  He and his wife's efforts, along with a long list of others, has taken something as rough as cancer and created a shining diamond of a moment for many, many people.

This year we sold out weeks before the event with 400 runners.  Next year we'll have to go even bigger!

So this entry doesn't go on forever, here's some pictures from the weekend.

There's Shane with the mic getting the volunteers together.

 

 

 

 

Happy Faces at the Starting Line

 

 

The fast guys take off.  Blue shorts up there, Chad, won it.  Second was Millar the guy in black there, and third went to my motivation/inspiration, 48 year old Keith in the white with black shorts.

 

 

 

On the far right edge of the picture is the Mile 1 sign.  Missed it by that much.

 

 

It's an "out and back" course, so here's heading out...

 

 

...and heading back.

 

 

The course finishes on the track with all the attendees hanging around and walkers still on the track, too.  The runners move out to the outside lanes and through the finish line by the main stage.

 

 

In my last post I talked about coming in last on purpose to encourage the folks that were struggling to finish and take the pressure off anyone who was worried about that stigma.  Well at the Cupcake 5K, the last place finisher gets the biggest applause and is accompanied by almost all of the other people who have all ready finished the race!  Another of Shane's brilliant ideas.  The race has always had people in it that were currently going through some serious cancer treatments, so there has always been people using that event, that moment, as a way of showing they were still there and still fighting.

 

This year was no different.

 

The last place finisher went the whole way using a walker and hauling her oxygen tank along with her.

 

 



 

When she finished she took the mic from Shane and encouraged all of us to take advantage of our lives and live them to the fullest.

 

 

 

That wonderful experience was enhanced because I had another friend who came down from Maryland to run the 5K and support me and the team.  My fraternity Little Brother, Blake.  If you've read my book he played a significant part in a turning point for me during my treatments.  He and I walked together behind this woman and chuckled at each other because we were both crying behind our sunglasses.

 

 

 

And heeeeerrrreee's Blake!

 

 

 

All in all I couldn't have asked for a nicer way to spend my birthday weekend.  I even was able to win my age group.  Of course it helped that I wasn't lumped in with Keith anymore.  ; )

 

 









Dad's birthday

Tomorrow is my Dad's 80th birthday.  Or today, depending when I finish this.  Friday, March 22nd is the day.  Whatever it is, I am not going back and editing the last few sentences.  This in itself would frustrate him to no end.  He is a planner.  I am a jumper in with two feeter.  He always wanted me to think and plan ahead.  I liked to give him a blank stare and in my head I would talk back to him.  Rarely would I actually talk back to him.  That would lead to bad things.  Not getting spanked or hit.  He would never do that.  He would give me a look and send me to my room.  Trapped in my room, looking outside would be enough.  All my friends out there doing something, me doing nothing.  Punishment enough.  Back to the planning ahead thing.  "Bobby, football practice is starting in a few months, you should be out there practicing or running to get ready."  Me,  "Dad, there will plenty of time to practice when practice actually starts."  Same would go for track practice.  Why run until you had to run? 

I remember from a very early age that he and I would always be outside throwing and catching something.  Football, baseball...whatever.  For hours and I loved it.  He had this huge football that was as hard as a rock.  It actually was a normal sized football, but to a six year old it seemed huge.  I don't think they had the junior size balls back then.  If they did, that would have been wasted money and we used what we had.  He coached football when he was stationed in Korea.  Coached and played.  He brought that football back from Korea.  We would play catch and at first I could barely catch and throw it.  Sometimes the point of it would hit me in the wrist and my arm would go numb from it.  It wouldn't be numb for  long and I didn't complain, because I was with him and I loved it.  I learned to not let it hit my wrist.  Catch with my hands.  By the time I was in 8th grade, my parents let me play organized football.  Yes, I said let me.  From throwing that huge ball and then being introduced to the smaller ball of that league, I found that I could throw it pretty far.  The coaches made me a quarterback.  I wanted to be a receiver.  Now, I'm a QB.  This is a story for another day.

We would also throw the baseball for hours.  My dad had a mitt from when he was a kid.  The type you picture Babe Ruth having.  Huge hunk of leather it was.  He would not buy a new one.  He still has it.  We would play catch for hours and would always use that glove which wasn't that far from falling apart.  The point of this, is that he instilled in me a love of sports.  This love and the skills he taught me helped so much in all my moves.  Being a military brat, we moved a fair amount.  Shy new kids get teased sometimes.  Especially ones whose mom made them wear ugly clothes.  It would be a bit rough for me until the kids learned I was an okay athlete.  Then, things got way easier.

I don't really remember him sitting me down and giving me life lessons, but he did teach me things.  He had a brilliant mind and some things came easily for him.  Not so much for me.  He would try to teach me algebra.  He would say,"blah, blah, blah = blah, blah, blah."  I would say, "huh?"  He would say, "AX + BX + C = what?"  I would say, "Dad, there are no numbers.  Why do people want to add letters?"  Not really, but I may as well have.  It would frustrate him until I got it.  Which I finally did.  I am the type of person who has to see something and visualize it before I get it.  With him, it is in his head.  Like a computer.

Two memories are etched in my mind.  One is when he went to Vietnam.  I was around six.  I didn't really understand much except that he was going away.  I gave him an acorn.  We lived in New Hampshire then, and we spent lots of time in the woods together.  Maybe that acorn meant something to me.  I don't remember.  He has it to this day.  It  meant something to him.  The other is when he went to Thailand for a year.  I was 12.  He had the choice of taking the family to Thailand and being there for two years or leaving us where we were comfortable and spending one year there.  Alone.  He chose to have us stay.  I remember the day he left like it was yesterday.  One of the few times I have seen him cry.  One of the few times he has seen me do it. 

My dad is a West Point graduate.  He spent 30 years in the Army and retired as a Colonel.  Along the way, he got many medals, including the Silver Star.  A hero in Vietnam.  He spent another 25 years at Lafayette College.  At home, he would go and go until it was time to sleep.  He would relax to watch sports.  To spend time with the family.  Other than that, he would be working on something.  He retired at 76 when his mind just started to let him down some.  The steel trap started to rust a bit. I went to the doctor with him not long ago.  When they told him he couldn't drive anymore.  He looked at me and said, "they think I'm crazy.  I'm not going to be worth too much now."  I told him he is the same person he always was, he just can't drive.  That was a tough day, when it all sunk in.

My dad is a gentle man with a huge heart.  He has 4 kids and eleven grandkids.  He got to meet his baby grand niece last month.  The grandaughter of his only sister who died recently.  My cousin came to visit with his wife and newborn baby.  My dad was able to relate stories to my cousin about his mother in their youth.  I'm not going to cheapen it by writing more about it, but it was great for my dad to see the look of his sister in my cousin. 

I guess I'm done here.  Just wanted to say a few things about my dad.  I will wish him happy birthday in person.  I feel very lucky to be able to say that.