Bob -
One of the most exciting things in life is the pre-race jitters I get and the excitement surrounding a race. Music, registration tables, people milling about. Watching people warm up, hoping I will make it through the race without dying, wondering how many people are in my age group, wondering why I signed up, asking myself why I even run, trying to pin my bib on, re-putting on my bib, hoping I have shorts on under my sweats, etc. Just a lot of stuff going on and I actually love it all. The worst part of it is walking by the porta potties. The most horrific and disgusting smells ever. All these fairly attractive and fit people standing and waiting to unleash the pre-race evils in the hope that they won't become the during race evils. It is like walking by a mass grave of pork fed cows. It is like walking by the bathroom after your grandfather was in there, except there are 500 grandfathers. It is like a mushroom cloud of atomic stress farts. If you don't listen to any advice I ever have, please listen to this...go to the bathroom at home! Clear it out. Don't go near the porta potties. There is no way that the odor doesn't not effect your run. It coats your lungs. It takes about a half mile to clear out. I have a theory and it is this. You will cut about 2 minutes off your 5k pr by avoiding the porta potties. I feel this is important. So important that I am willing to give up my sponsorship with Captain Crap's Portable Poop Decks, unless of course they start paying me and then I will do another study. But that is a story for another day.
OMG-laughing so hard that I was snorting & had coffee coming out of my nose! Note to self: NEVER use a porta potty before a 5K (or any other race) I don't run fast enough to lose that half mile to clear it out. NASTY!!!!!
ReplyDeleteToo funny! Reminds me of the dangers of running through Colonial Williamsburg. I ran the Run for the Dream 8K there in May. I was sooo excited about running through the historic area--because, gosh, it's so pretty. What you forget is that there's horse manure everywhere. They managed to keep the race course pretty clean, but you just can't get away from that smell on a warm spring day.
ReplyDeleteHey, I just discovered your blog and I love it! Thanks for the laughs.
Glad you found us! Love Williamsburg! It does seem that no matter where we run, there is the very real threat of horrible smells. Part of the game, I guess. Bob
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