The Joy of Running Isn't Automatic

Ed -

Life is made up of moments.

Those of you who've known me for awhile have probably heard me say this more than once. I don't have a clue why I latched on to that idea so early in life, but I've always believed it.  Even wrote a couple of articles for my high school newspaper on that exact subject.  Used a typewriter.  No kidding.  Sure, it was electric, but we still had a "manual" at the house I used a time or two.  No formatting or spell check.  Just banging away and hoping the ink ribbon didn't get dried out or tangled.  Those things were a pain in the butt to change.

But I digress.

Again.

Over the last couple of months I've seen a couple of moments that others experienced.  One I saw as it happened and the other I simply saw the result.  Both made an impression on me and have inspired me to take a little action.  First off to write this down, share it with you then ask you to do something that I'm going to do as well.

A little while back I signed myself and my wife up for an evening 5K fun run sort of event.  It was called the Wine Down 5K.  It was held at a winery in North Carolina and your entry fee covered the race, some cool swag, and a couple of glasses of the local wines.  As I just mentioned it was held at night.  My wife, who is not a runner, looked at the website and saw that it was a timed event.  She said she'd go but would wait for me at the finish line with her wine.  I told her it was timed, but it wasn't really a "Race" type of race.  It was for fun and no one would be taking it all that seriously.  I told her we would walk it together and just enjoy the landscape, it wound all through the vineyard and out to the Sound, I knew it would be pretty and we'd have some fun at the end.

So we went, and as I thought, it wasn't really all that serious an affair.  There were under a hundred people, and most were part of a group that did morning boot camp workouts together.  I knew a lot of folks there, but the "really fast" and "really serious" runners weren't there.  Two guys I recognized and told Debbie they would be the first ones across, but the rest were just there for fun like us.

Not true.  I was assumptive and arrogant.

For a number of people this was a big deal.  They had been focusing on it for some time and probably chose this as their first 5K because of the fact it wasn't all that big a race.  It was low key and therefore hopefully low pressure.  One lady in particular stands out to me now.

She was over weight, but there and dressed out ready to run.  I heard her talking to a couple of her friends that she referred to as "real runners" and said things like "this is so easy for you guys."  I could tell she was anxious, but her friends were telling her she'd do fine.  Since we were planning on walking the race she was right near us at the start.  Also next to us was the "sweeper."  You know, the person who follows up the runners to make sure no one gets lost or hurt and left.  I think most runs have something like that, but especially ones like this where we'd be off on some small trails in the woods.

Well, the lady looked like she had a plan when she started out jogging and then after a couple of minutes would walk.  Then jog again for a couple of minutes then walk again.  I pointed out to my wife that was a smart way to approach a long distance you haven't ever done, or are just starting out.  But even though we were just walking, we slowly gained on her as she got slower and slower.  We ended up coming along side of her just after the 1.5 mile mark.

She apologized for us having to go around her, even though that part of the course was wide enough.  We told her that was nonsense, she was doing great and told her she was half way there and would make it fine.  But I could tell she was struggling.

We looked back several times and the last couple walking behind us passed her, but the sweeper was there with a friend.  I felt like the lady would have company and encouragement so my wife and I kept on walking at our quick pace.  And every time I thought of it, I'd look back to check on the lady and she was there pushing along.

The course wound around a bit between some sunken fields that I guess they could use to flood them for something like rice that needs to pretty much grow in water, but at any rate as we got to a long wide open point I looked back and way behind us was the sweeper and her friend, but no lady.

She just wasn't there.

And if she had quit the shortest distance left to cover was to the finish.  She couldn't have gone back to the starting line to her car.  Then I remembered that at the turn around point there were people there with water and they had driven to that spot.  I figured she had called it quits and just hitched a ride with them, back in.  As we finished the race and got our stuff, my wife and I chatted with some folks I knew and went and got our wine.  I saw the Sweeper and asked her about the lady because I was feeling weird about it.

"She said she just had enough and didn't need any one's help," Sweeper told me. "Then she just went off by herself back towards the start."

"And you let her?"

"She seemed perfectly okay and just laughed it off. Plus the water folks were following her in their car."

I grabbed the race director and the lady who led the course on her bike and they went out looking for the lady.  No luck.  I hunted around and found her friends, and tentatively asked if they had heard from her.

"She texted me," one said.  "She said she couldn't finish and just wanted to go home, but we should stay and have fun.  But we're getting ready to leave right now. Thanks for asking."

Man.

I felt like crap for her.  No one should feel that defeated, embarrassed or whatever in life.  Truthfully, I have no idea what she was really feeling, but it was obvious she didn't want to be near the group of people who had finished that 5K.  Not even her friends.

My wife wished we had just stayed with her.  But how do you do that with a stranger and not embarrass them more?  I'm not sure I know the answer to that, but I wish I'd have hung back, too.

The second moment I wanted to write about was a facebook post by the little sister of a friend of mine who had just finished her first ever 5K.  I just happened to catch it on my timeline one day.  In that post she printed her time, over 51 minutes, and stated that for most people that would be a "crappy" time, but for her it was fantastic.  Her goal was to break one hour and she did it.  She had been training for a couple of months 4 days a week and that 5K was a rousing success!  Her enthusiasm and boldness in her post made me laugh and cheer while reading it.  It was incredible.

After immediately sharing it myself on my timeline, her older sister who went to high school with me, thanked me in a message for sharing it and gave me a little more back story.  Her little sister had been trying to heal up from a broken bone but hadn't had been doing all that well since she was so over weight.  Her doctor told her she needed a very specific goal to help keep her on track and out of all that came the 5K.  She stuck to the training, lost 60 pounds in the process, and finished her first ever 5K.  She proclaimed it as a major life event!

So there you have it.  5K races are probably ALWAYS a major life event for someone.  There's time spent training for it.  Time spent worrying about it.  Time spent putting pressure on a moment.  One that could be either triumphant or tragic.

A moment that many of us are around on a regular basis, but it's not our moment so we may not notice it.

So here's the action I mentioned us taking at the beginning of this:  Be a Sweeper or a Pacer.

We all have our own goals for races, even the fun runs.  Some of us have volunteered to help with races we haven't run and worked the water table or the course, or the finish line.  Those things are necessary to make a run successful.  I've been a Pacer a couple of times for friends and a stranger or two, but I've never given any thought to being a Sweeper.  Now I have.

I'm going to pick a couple of 5k's and offer to finish last.  To be the guy who hangs back with whomever to make sure they're not alone and offer encouragement.  I imagine that many folks fight the embarrassment of being last.  Or won't even enter because they worry that might happen.  I don't want anyone to feel that way.  I want to take away that stigma and alleviate that fear that can be pretty scary for many people.

Maybe I'll even get a shirt made that says, "Last Place" so it's clear what I'm there for.

"Nope, sorry.  You don't get to finish last.  That's mine."

This probably goes without saying, but when have I ever been accused of not saying enough?  This isn't a pity thing.  It's about support and encouragement.  I've benefited from it a number of times in my running career when other people were there to commiserate, push me along or even hold me back and help me maintain the right pace to avoid flaming out.

The running community is full of super caring, and encouraging people.  It's one of the things we all know, but that's because we're all ready in the community.  Let's find ways to let those folks on the outside who want to be in, see that there's nothing to be afraid of, and that there's so much here to enjoy.