As I start obsessing over what will be my 8th official half marathon, I had a thought. It is well documented by whoever listens to me that I keep swearing off anything with the word thon in it. I actually swore off them after my first half marathon. My first half marathon came after my first marathon. My first marathon was the worst experience of my life. It took forever. I think my time was three and a half days. As we all know, the crowds for these events are incredible. It seemed that all of New York was out that day in 2007. They were all cheering for me. At least I'm pretty sure they were. This cheering went on for the first part of the first day. By day two, people had kind of forgotten about me. Day three of my marathon came and the people were getting hostile. They wanted me out of their city. They finally said take your medal and get out. I did, and I swore off thons.
There is an old saying that goes something like this, "If one cannot lie to oneself, then who can one lie to?" It is old and someone said it. No one knows who and no one really cares. It is one of those things that someone said around a fire or beside a river and the scribes wrote it down and it got lost in the translation over time until I found it again and put it here. I'm bringing it back because it applies to me. I lie to myself all the time. I keep telling myself that I am not going to run this stuff anymore and then I do. Right now I'm mad at myself because I don't feel that I am well enough prepared to do what I want to do. Every race I run, I want it to be faster than the last. I'm pretty sure that isn't going to happen this time. I try and tell myself that I don't care. That I can just run and be satisfied that I did it. But that isn't me. In addition, I'm just never that happy running 13.1 miles. I am the happiest guy in the world when I'm done. Well, about 20 minutes after I'm done, but not when I'm running. I have moments, for sure, but it ain't every mile. I've done enough half marathons, that I know when I'm at the starting line on Sunday, I am going to say, "what am I doing here?" I also realize that I'm lying to myself again because I know why I do it. Because I like a challenge. I like to push myself. I love the feeling when I'm done. I say this to anyone...just running 13.1 miles is an accomplishment. There was a time that I could barely run from telephone pole to telephone pole. I know there are many people who can relate to that and I appreciate all the work that runners put into running. I appreciate all the work people put into life. It is not easy.
I have set a new goal for myself and that is to try to eat healthier. I've rationalized long enough that I can eat what I want because I exercise a lot. At my age, that is not the case. It is hard to keep the weight off. I have a goal weight in mind. I want to make sure that I'm getting proper nutrition to ensure I keep muscle on while losing the weight I want. I really want to see how fast this old body can go. I do not feel I am at a plateau yet and I feel the need to really push. I hope I have the will power to push it where I want it to go. I would like to know, just once, that I reached some sort of potential that I have. I love the quote by Steve Prefontaine. "To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift." We all have gifts, very few really appreciate them or use them to their potential. I know I haven't. I don't think it matters whether you are faster, stronger or smarter than someone else. What matters is that you are as fast, strong or smart as you can be. Wasted potential is a sad thing. As you get older, it becomes more profound. The feeling of lost potential. You cannot get that time back, but, if you are lucky, you do have tomorrow. I have tomorrow and there are some things that I want to do.
In conclusion, my concentration has been ruined by Jeopardy. It is on, and I am trying to finish this and answer questions to Trebek. If I were on that show, the realization has hit me that he would say, "Nourse, stick to running and lifting weights." I'm okay with that.
Ewe cane dew eat Waterboy!
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