All I've got right now

I have thought about so many things to write about and I have had trouble focusing on just one.  So, I kind of just didn't write about anything this week.  The obvious thing would be to talk about Boston, but there has been so much written about that, I think I can't do it any justice.  I am just really glad that my friends who ran in it are safe.  I learned that many of the people we run with are like family.  I'm sorry for the runners who trained so hard and couldn't finish.  I am sad for the spectators who were hurt and killed.  Spectators make these events.  Whole parts of huge cities are shut down and people come out and cheer for runners they don't even know.  It is amazing the energy we get off these crowds.  I'm sorry for Boston.  I'm glad they caught the guys who did it.  That is all I am going to say about that.

I really wanted to write something a bit more uplifting.  All I could come up with is that my dog died this week.  How pathetic is that? Haley was 14 plus years old.  The last couple years have been really tough.  Her legs started getting weak and giving out.  She slowly became what I would say was senile.  She became incontinent.  She was a great, great dog her whole life.  The last few months, her walking got worse almost every day.  The last two weeks, she could barely stand.  We had to lift her up and stabilize her and then she could get going.  By last Saturday, she was collapsing and barking for us to get her back up.  The one thing that drove her in the end was food.  She would put a Herculean effort into trying to get up for food almost anytime.  She was obsessed with food.

Where am I going with this?  Well, I will try and tell you.  After we had her put down, I started having this thought.  What if she could talk?  What if she could have told me what she was thinking?  And this is what I came up with.  Haley to me, "you dumb son of a bitch.  You are putting me to sleep because I can't walk?  Have you seen yourself walk?  You lop legged, baby Huey looking, bag of love handles.  You walk like a crab down the stairs, you can barely get in the car and you whine like a huge 2 year old.  Do you ever hear me yelp or cry out in pain?  No.  You can't even put your socks on or reach your toenails to cut them.  How many times do I have to read about your marathon and what it did to your knees?"  Me to Haley, "well, you seem so uncomfortable and all you care about is food."  Haley to me, "really, you fat mother #$%^*@, all I care about is food?  Why don't you put down those two Big Macs and the gallon of Ben and Jerry's and talk to me about who is obsessed with food!  Now, come on.  You and I are going for a little trip to the doctor and it is time for you to go sleepy bye, bye."

These thoughts did cross my mind.  Bottom line is that it was time.  It was really sad to see her go.  Beyond sad.  I can't get her out of my mind.  Animals put up with so much pain and give so much love it is ridiculous. She was an unbelievably good friend and pet for so many years.  The vet, who is also a friend of mine, was so good at making us all as comfortable as we could be.  A true professional.  Thank you, Kate.

Next week, I will be back to writing some really stupid stuff.  This just wasn't the week for it.