Movies

Bob -

I don't really have anything interesting to say right now, so I'm going to talk about movies.  Running movies and sports related movies.  There are a lot.  I ran this week, but I don't feel like there is anything that stands out that is worth talking about.  Not that I ever think anything I write here is of any consequence.  I find it hard to write about me.  I would find it harder to write about you.  I don't even know if you want to be written about.  The thing about autobiographies is that,by definition, most of them are written by the person they are about.  Assuming they are still alive.  As far as I know, I am still alive and I find myself fascinating in a really boring  manner.  I start out thinking that I have something interesting to say, and then part way in, I get bored.  Whether in writing or in talking.  I start telling a story and then I wish I didn't start it and I look for a way to end it gracefully.  Sometimes I can't, so I just throw up.  Or, I pretend that my mom is calling me.  One time I stabbed myself in the thigh and told people that I was mugged when they weren't looking.  I had to do an oral report my junior year of high school and my teacher, Mr. Kerlin, told me that I should tell bedtime stories.  That is how boring my report was.  I put my teacher to sleep.  And he was a high energy dude.  I think of this stuff every time I do or say anything.  It is a lot of pressure to really read some one's eyes when you are talking to them to see if they are falling asleep.  To pick the right moment to throw up and run or to keep talking.  One running thing that happened is I was running with my friend the other day.  I'm going to call her Angie, because that is her name.  We were on a ten mile run and I was blabbing like a three year old monkey on crack and all of a sudden I saw a snake.  It was huge.  Well, it wasn't small.  I saw it when I was about a foot away from it.  It was too late to really avoid going by it.  In my brain, I was saying, "Excuse me, Angie, but there is a giant snake right here that looks as though it is a rattler, or perhaps a cobra and I feel we should move over to avoid it."  In reality, I believe that I screamed and said something totally incoherent and by doing this, I made Angie think there was something interesting there and she swerved over to see and then she screamed.  I have told people before that if there is a bear or anything that will eat someone, I am not going to save them, due to the fact that I do not want to get eaten.  This now applies to snakes.  Not that I am overly afraid of snakes, but by the time I have screamed and cried and reacted, the snake danger will either be over or we will already have been eaten and/or bitten.  I feel that in some situations that I would be okay.  Like a fire.  I may be able to pull someone out of a fire, as long as the fire is not very hot or very big.  If there is a snake or a bear in the fire, all bets are off.  Other than that, I think I am a pretty good running partner.  With all this being said, Saint Ralph is an excellent movie.  Do not confuse it with King Ralph.  Although I love John Goodman, King Ralph was not his best work.  Saint Ralph is entirely different.  I love that movie.  Check it out.  Do it.  The moral to the story is even though the world is full of bears and snakes and other things that can mess you up, it is okay to scream and finish your run.  Always finish your run.