Jennie has a gun - Not really, but if she did...look out!!! Guest post.

This is a guest post from my friend and running compadre, Jennie(don't call me Jennifer) Repsher.  She has done some amazing things and has a wonderful story that she will hopefully share at some point, but right now she is injured.  I think this sheds some light on what running means to most of us.  Here it is...

You know what sucks?  Being hurt.  And not the, “oh, I have a blister on my foot” kinda hurt, or the, “my calves/hammies/hip flexors are so tight, I just can’t imagine running” (even though you go out and run five miles and it all loosens up and you feel great afterwards) kinda hurt.  Because those kind of hurts are pretty much fixable.  The blister will go away on its own.  Pop that sucker, throw some bodyglide on it, and sure, it might be uncomfortable for a bit, but it will go away.  The muscle soreness…..stretch.  Roll it out.  Warm up.  Cool down.  Sure, we as runners naturally suck at being diligent about such things, but we know that it works.

But what do you do when you have a pain that won’t go away on its own?  Crumble upon yourself in a corner and sob uncontrollably?  Maybe.  Lash out at just about everyone around you because you’re so pissed off that you can’t run and lift like you want to, so the anger of your predicament just keeps growing into a ginormous ball deep within that refuses to be squelched because your way of dealing with stress involves running and lifting heavy things?  Definitely. 

I’ve become a monster.  An emotional wreck.  A bitch.  (Yeah, I just went there.)  I am completely aware of this.  So is my husband.  (I love you, Chris, even though I routinely go absolutely apeshit on you every day.)

Why, you ask?  Because I’ve been injured.  I actually prefer the term hobbled.  Since my hobbling on July 15, I’ve been unable to run.  My lifting routine has also been drastically modified.  When your knee is screwbally, deadlifts, squats, walking lunges, heavy kettlebell swings….they’re all out.  Other things I can’t do: swim for extended periods of time (the kicking sucks), spin class/ride a normal bike (b/c the full extension of standing on the bike is no good) and going backwards on the elliptical (because it over-extends the knee).

And when you identify yourself as a BAMF (bad-ass mofo) who likes to run (it doesn’t matter how slowly I run either….I’m still doing it) and lift heavy things, and then have that identity ripped from you….well, it sucks.   

Sure, I can still walk….but walking the hyena doesn’t clear my mind.  I’m too busy making sure he’s not marking some little boy’s leg, and worrying about getting poo on my hands when I clean up his dumpings.  Because he ALWAYS dumps when I walk him.  I can go on the elliptical (forward only!).  I can ride the recumbent bike (and possibly nap at the same time).  I can still lift; focusing on my upper body and core.  But it isn’t the same as flipping a tire and swinging a sledgehammer. 

I need to be un-hobbled.  Because I crave that feeling you get after a great run.  Heck, right now, I’ll even settle for the disappointment felt after a so-so run.  Because at least then, I’d have finished a run, and I’d be able to eat a bowl of ice cream and not kill myself over it.  J