This morning's run

Bob -

I got off to a rough start.  I didn't feel like running.  Legs were burning early.  I was tired and hungry and the hour was early.  I started cramping up and I felt like crying alot.  Why did I sign up for a marathon.  Running sucks.  I like running 5 miles.  I like donuts.  Who the hell wants to run 15 miles or so?  I'm old.  I should be pampered.  Someone should put Pampers on me.  I am so close to my Era of Incontinence and I am doing this?  Who came up with the whole running idea anyway.  Was it the Greek dude who ran from somewhere in Greece to somewhere else to deliver a message, and then died.  The very first marathoner, he was.  Went by the name of Phillipodopinus.  Ran til he died and then people from that point on thought it was a great idea to run.  Except for now it is not in togas and sandals, it is in fancy running gear.  I personally wore my toga this morning in recognition of the genius who started the running craze.  Up to a certain time in history, everyone walked.  There was no running.  Lots and lots of walking.  Or horse riding.  If someone had a horse, they rode it.  If someone was running, they typically got shot because it was a wide spread belief that running caused the Black Death.  Yep, the great plague was possibly caused by runners and now we are bringing all that back, but in compression sleeves and shorts.  I want to make it clear that no one actually got shot during the plague era, because guns weren't around, but people would stand on the streets and wish they could invent a gun to shoot people running with the plague, they just had not developed the mental brain power yet to do so.  It was around the time of Charlemagne they actually started shooting runners because the kept bringing copies of the Magna Carta into the porta potties to read and they were taking way too much time in there.  So, they got shot or at least winged to teach them a lesson.  So, anyway, it was a very rough morning for me.  When I actually dragged myself out of the mini van and started running, it got way worse.